The Diary of Memories
by RoxasXIII8
Summary: Axel has been writing in his diary since day 1 in the Organization in the event his memories get erased. When Number XIII comes along, he finds himself guiding the boy into learning how it feels like to have a heart. M for cusses and later sexual content.
1. Axel's Diary

Author's Note: Oh my god, I'm actually putting a story on here. In how long? Can someone say FOREVER? o-o Anyways, I've been REALLY into AkuRoku lately, soooo here's a story about them - enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts TT sadly.

WARNING: There will be yaoi working into the story later. And I'm talking about, MAJOR yaoi. o-o So if you don't like it, stay away. Also notice there are a few cusses.

Kingdom Hearts: The Diary of Memories

_Day XVI._

_The Organization proves to be useful at times. However, being in this white abyss of a castle isn't always fun. Especially when there's nothing to do except watch Demyx play his sitar or play cards (which Luxord usually ends up stealing from me). _

_I wake up today in a good mood. I guess every day is good, knowing that I, besides Demyx, am the only Nobody that can feel. I dressed and ate breakfast, then Demyx taught me a few chords on his sitar. Luxord forced me into a game of 21 (him winning). Stole Xigbar's eye patch and he got pissy. Saix is on his period. Haven't seen Mansex today. Tripped Xaldin with one of his lances… the big doofus._

Axel and Demyx sat lounging on the stairs of Castle Oblivion. The blue sitar rested on Axel's lap.

"I can't get it right," Axel whined.

"Put your fingers on the next fret." Demyx adjusted his fingers, sliding them downward.

"Sweet! There's no way I'm saying that gay quote of yours."

"Shut up!" Demyx smacked his arm, smiling. A light blush formed on his cheeks. Axel smirked.

"You're blushing," he said slyly. Demyx turned away.

Axel's smirk grew wider, setting the sitar down next to him. He gazed at the sky, gazing at the heart-shaped moon.

"Hey Demyx, you ever think we'll get a real heart?"

Demyx gazed at him over his shoulder. "I really don't know."

Axel's smirk faded and turned into a frown. He glanced down the stairs, seeing a hooded figure walk toward them.

The figure was a bit short, around 5' 4". It had a bit of a wide chest and slightly broad shoulders, signaling Axel that under the hood was the face of a boy. A young boy.

He approached them.

"New member," Demyx muttered.

"Hey, bud!" Axel held up his hand for a high five to the boy.

He brushed past them without a word, continuing up the stairs.

"H-Hey, don't leave me hanging!" Axel called after him, keeping his hand up. The boy turned the corner and entered the dark doorway.

"Air five, alright!" Axel jerked his arm forward in a high-five motion.

"You're a loser," Demyx commented.

"Hey Demyx, make your water dance." Axel's eyes narrowed. Demyx turned away again.

Although Axel smirked at Demyx's embarrassment, he couldn't help but wonder: what was the deal with a new member suddenly showing up? He would have to ask Luxord about it later.

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"New member?" Luxord sat in a chair in the lounge, his legs crossed, rubbing his chin. "What's he look like?"

"Don't know… he had his hood up. He was pretty short though."

"Oh, the Key of Destiny?" Luxord removed his palm from his chin. "That's Roxas. He's that keyblade boy's Nobody."

_Roxas… _his name rang in Axel's ear in euphoria.

"What did you need to know his name for?" Luxord leaned forward.

"N-no reason. Just wondered." Axel strode away in the direction of the kitchen.

While he was walking in the hall, he glanced around at the Dusks crowding the hallway. _I hate it when they wander around, _Axel thought, _they should be locked in their cell where they belong._

Just then, Axel rammed into someone walking in his direction. He heard a hard THUMP, signaling whoever he ran into fell over. He looked over.

It was Roxas… and his hood was down.

Axel's eyes widened, feeling intense heat rising to his cheeks. Roxas' hair was golden blonde, spiked up toward the right side of his head. His eyes were deep, ocean blue, full of innocence, but also a hint of anger, Axel guessed was because he bumped into him. His facial features gave him a child-like appearance. He couldn't have been more than 14 years old.

Roxas jumped to his feet before Axel could extend his hand to help him.

"I- I'm s-" Axel started.

"Watch where you're going." Roxas snapped as he bumped his shoulder into his arm and walked away.

Axel stared after him, bewildered. _The new member is a complete angel…_

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Author's Note: Soooo yeah, hope you like it so far... I've just been writing it during school when I'm bored.

Axel: -cough- more like her mind wanders to hentai.

Me: Who asked you anyway?

Roxas: Axel, what's hentai?

Axel/Me: I'll tell you when you're older.

Roxas: TT wahh

Review if you wish :D


	2. Conflict with the Blondie

Author's Note: Woohoo, 2 chapters :D Um, nothing much else to say. o-o

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts TT sadly.

WARNING: There will be yaoi working into the story later. And I'm talking about, MAJOR yaoi. o-o So if you don't like it, stay away. Also notice there are a few cusses.

Kingdom Hearts: The Diary of Memories

Axel walked back to his room in a daze. Why did he think that about Roxas? He was a guy. Axel was a guy. Wasn't that wrong?

_There is the possibility that I'm gay, _Axel thought. What? No! He was in love with Larxene at one point. So did that make him bi? He didn't know. All of these questions and conflicting feelings made his head spin.

Even though he always _had _loved blondes…

Axel opened the door to his room, seeing a hooded figure hovering over his bedside table.

His diary was open.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" without even thinking, he rushed over and grabbed the figure in a chokehold. "WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!"

"LET GO OF ME, YOU FAT BABOON!" The figure's hood fell, showing a hint of blonde hair.

Axel released him, Roxas dropping to the floor, holding his neck. Axel traced his hands along his own waist.

"I'm not fat…"

"Were you TRYING to kill me!?"

"Of course not!"

"Flippin' PSYCHO!" Roxas ran out of the room.

"What? No… Roxas, WAIT!" he bolted down the hallway after him.

"SO YOU KNOW MY NAME NOW?! STALKER!"

Demyx pressed himself against the wall as they whizzed by. "What the heaven?"

Roxas rammed open the door labeled "XIII" and slammed it behind him.

"ROXAS!" Axel skidded to a stop, laying his palm against the door frame.

"What happened?" Demyx walked toward him. Axel stayed silent. God, he messed up big time.

"I'm an idiot."

"Well, yeah, we all know that."

"DEMYX!"

"What?! I am too, don't worry about it."

"That's not funny…" tears formed in Axel's emerald green eyes.

"What are you getting all emotional for? He's just a stupid kid."

"He's NOT stupid." Axel snapped.

Demyx drew back. "What's _up _with you?"

"…I don't know…" Axel silently walked away.

"Axel…!" Demyx merely called after him. He knew when Axel was in his sappy mood, he wanted to be alone.

Axel walked back down to his room, closing the door gently.

"Why am I crying? Maybe Demyx is right… maybe he is just some stupid kid…" He sat on his bed. "That can't be true… I saw something more in his eyes…" he laid back, gazing at the ceiling. "God, his eyes…" he trailed off, at loss for words. Axel pulled his diary from his bedside table.

_Day XVI cont._

_New member named Roxas joins, making him number XIII. Man, he's the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyed on... except for a little detail? He's a guy. Bleh. Am I really willing to change my sexuality for one person? Thing is, I don't know if..._

His thoughts trailed off. What if Roxas hated him now? He probably thought he was lower than dirt at least. If Axel had made the chokehold any tighter than he had, he probably would have cracked his neck. He turned his back to the door, images of that thought whizzing in his head. Without even realizing it, he silently cried himself to sleep.

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Axel jerked awake in a cold sweat from his nightmare.

_Man… _he sat up and glanced at the door, then stood and walked out. He wandered into the kitchen, seeing Roxas at the counter, peeling himself an orange.

_Just great. Why does he have to be everywhere I end up going? _Axel walked to the fridge and extracted a cherry yogurt. He glanced over at Roxas, and at the exact same time, he saw Roxas glance at him. Axel quickly turned away, turning deep red. _Why did he look at me…?_

Axel leaned against the counter, bringing a spoon out of the drawer. "Hey, I'm sorry for… uh…"

"Yeah."

"Seriously, I didn't mean to… I thought you were someone else… and my notebook was open…"

"I wasn't reading your stupid diary."

Axel nearly bent the spoon in half. "It's **not **stupid," he growled, "they're my MEMORIES. Let's see how YOU hold up if you lose yours."

"Quite frankly, I don't care."

Axel clenched his fist. "You should." The spoon in his hand started melting. _What an arrogant prick!_

"I don't have many memories. I was only born around a year ago, and the memories I have are nothing worth the while."

"What? You look like you're 14."

"Technically, I guess. But whoever's Nobody I am… I became one only a year ago."

"Oh…" Axel forgot about that. He fell into awkward silence, throwing away the melted spoon. He got a new one and resumed eating his yogurt. He quickly glanced up, seeing Roxas eating his orange and staring at him.

"Wh-What?"

"Did your hair explode?" Roxas asked.

Axel turned bright red. "What the fuck?! No!"

"Just asking. It looks like it." Roxas bit into the orange slice, a bit of juice squirting on his lips. Axel gazed at him hungrily as Roxas licked it off.

Roxas threw away the skin and looked to Axel. "What's your name?"

"Sexy…"

Roxas stared blankly at him. "What?"

"Axel. What did I say?"

"Er… sexy…"

"Thanks, I think I am too." Axel grinned.

Roxas smacked himself on the forehead. "Riiight, keep telling yourself that…"

Axel threw away the empty yogurt. "Where you headed?"

"Somewhere." Roxas walked out of the kitchen with Axel staring after him. _I guess I'll just have to follow him to find out._

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Author's Note: I'm mean, aren't I... Oh well, who said I was nice? Hope you enjoyed it, review if you wish.

Axel: Review or I'll burn your hair off! And I mean ALL of your hair!

Roxas: o-o

Me: o-o that's not the way to get people to review.

Axel: -has chakrams out- ... -ehem-

Demyx: Go Axel go! Wheew!

Me/Roxas: -being the only sane people, walk away-

Stay tuned for next chapter! Do do DOOOOOOOOO!


	3. Duel with Silver

Author's Note: Yay new chapter! Not much to say here o-o; just that I have finals coming up this Wednesday… meaning I can write when I'm done with tests or I won't be able to write at all. o-o; Sooo, Let's start the new chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts TT sadly.

WARNING: The yaoi starts here :D So if you don't like it, DON'T READ!! Also notice there are a few cusses.

Kingdom Hearts: The Diary of Memories

Axel raised his hood as he followed Roxas outdoors.

_Where the hell is he going? _Axel swiftly tagged along the dark, rainy streets of The World That Never Was, ending up beside the main building that stretched high above the isolated city. Roxas stood before the building, his hood raised as well. Axel spotted someone else in the distance; he had on an Organization cloak. He had medium-lengthed , gleaming silver hair and a blindfold over his eyes. Axel was surprised he didn't tripo as he approached Roxas.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" Roxas inquired. Axel hid a bit better around the corner.

"Sora," the silver-headed man muttered.

"That's not my name."

Silver jerked Roxas toward him by the collar of his cloak. "Do you remember your true name?" he asked Roxas darkly.

"Release me!" Roxas growled firmly, grabbing onto Silver's forearm.

"You are and always will be Roxas," Silver leaned near his ear, "The fake Sora."

Roxas growled quietly as his Oathkeeper keyblade appeared in his hand.

"To restore Sora's memory, he needs you. Be quiet and come with me."

Roxas jerked forth his keyblade. He heard a loud CLANG and glanced down in shock. Silver was holding a black keyblade, the hilt embedded with a blue jewel. Roxas glanced back up toward him, seeing a smirk plastered across his face. Silver locked his blade with Roxas' and threw him behind him and across the pavement. Roxas lay limp for a few moments from the intense blow, then shakily rose to his hands and knees, clutching Oathkeeper. Axel restrained himself from darting across the pavement and chopping Silver's head off. He gripped the side of the building, his eyes flaming with rage as he felt his body temperature rapidly increasing.

"YOU FAKE KEYBLADE MASTER!" Roxas shouted at him, whirling around and rising to his feet, gripping his keyblade angrily. They ran toward each other, their keyblades colliding in random directions. Axel gazed at Roxas in amazement; he was a majorly strong fighter for a kid.

Roxas twisted and turned his body, going backward, forward, and around Silver. His keyblade swung everywhere, it seeming to be invisible.

Silver finally fell back on the ground, his keyblade flying and landing a long distance away. Roxas held his keyblade to his neck, claiming his victory.

"Good job, Sora. "You finally defeated me."

"I'M NOT SORA!" Roxas drew his keyblade back to strike.

Axel jolted from his hiding place, grabbing Roxas' wrist and jerking him back. "ROXAS, DON'T!"

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Roxas lashed around in his grip. "LET GO OF ME!"

Silver smirked and disappeared in a cloak of dark mist. Roxas whirled around to Axel, his hood flying off, enraged.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! I _HAD _HIM!"

"Roxas… please calm down."

"HOW CAN I?!"

"Look… that guy left his keyblade." Axel pointed to the black keyblade on the ground. "I grabbed you so he would escape and leave his keyblade behind."

Roxas' eyes widened a bit, then walked to the keyblade and carefully picked it up. It seemed to be perfect for his left hand. Axel grinned.

"Let's go back to the castle." Axel held Roxas' hand after the keyblade disappeared, earning him a blush painted across the young boy's cheeks. "Don't let anyone see us like this, or we'll be in deep trouble." He tapped Roxas' temple. "Got it memorized?"

Roxas' bright blue eyes sparkled. "Okay, Akuseru…"

"It's Axel, kid." Axel chuckled.

"I like saying Akuseru…" Roxas raised his hood and stared at the ground.

_He's so adorable. _"Call me what you want then, Roxas." He created a dark portal for them and stepped through. They ended up in Axel's bedroom.

"This is my room." Axel said. Roxas lowered his hood, glancing around. Axel bit the finger of his glove and slid it off, holding it in his other hand. He lowered it and placed his hand on Roxas' cheek.

"A- Akuseru…" Roxas stuttered, the apples of his cheeks turning dark red.

"Any time you need a friend… come see me." Axel winked and rested his hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you…" Roxas threw a hug around his waist and nuzzled his chest. Axel leaned back a bit, surprised by the sudden embrace.

"H-hey kid… don't worry about it…"

"Mm…" Roxas moaned softly from Axel's comforting warmth.

"R- Roxas…" Axel rubbed his back gently and nuzzled in his hair. "Mn… you smell good…"

Roxas blushed once more and backed away, rubbing his arm nervously. "I- I gotta go…" He rushed out of the room. Axel extended his arm to him but said nothing. He folded in his fingers, putting his glove back on. He glided happily to his bed and plopped down, taking his notebook in his lap.

_Day XVI end._

_I got to know Roxas better. He sounds soooo adorable when he calls me Akuseru instead of Axel. His deep blue eyes shimmered when he said my name…_

_Gah, I HAVE to be gay to feel all mushy like this over him. Oh well. It's so worth it. I think I can help him out a lot._

_The thing that worries me is…_

_Am I falling in love with this kid?_

Axel sat there in wonder, staring at the big L word. He has never ventured as far as LOVE in his feelings before. Axel stayed up the rest of the night, finding himself writing Roxas' name and drawing hearts all over the page.

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Author's Note: Everyone say, "AWWW" -barf- So anyways, I just finished this chapter today… There is a small chapter 4 coming in after this. o.o just have to type it up real fast.

Axel: REVIEW, BEE-YACH-ES

Roxas: o-o Why do you have to overreact in every Author's Note?

Axel: o-o I dunno.

Me: o/o -eats chocolate-


	4. This Can't Be Real

Author's Note: Woo, chapta 4! Sooo, warning you now, there will be sexual content in this chapter. Don't like it, go away. o-o

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts TT sadly.

WARNING: The yaoi continues here :D So if you don't like it, DON'T READ!! Also notice there are a few cusses.

Kingdom Hearts: The Diary of Memories

Axel awoke to bright sunlight pouring in his window.

Wait, _sunlight?_

Axel sat up and looked around. This sure in hell _wasn't _his room. He walked to the window and raised it open, gazing out beyond the mass horizon, seeing a beautiful sunrise behind various-sized and colored buildings.

_Where AM I? _Axel asked himself.

"AKUSERU, BREAKFAST IS READY!" Roxas ran in the room with a plate of eggs and bacon.

Axel's eyes almost bugged out of his head from what Roxas was wearing. He clothes tight leather shorts that hugged his perfectly shaped hips and slender, toned thighs. His shirt was a bit big; it was dark blue and it hung off of one of his shoulders, revealing his collarbone. Two buttons were open, showing off the upper half of his chest.

"EAT!" Roxas shoved the plate at Axel, who was giving him a vacant stare, drooling.

"Duhhhh… uhhh…" Axel mumbled stupidly. He took the plate, but continued to stare. "Wh- Why are you wearing that?"

"Silly! I wear this every day!" Roxas kissed his cheek and Axel flushed deep red, "Now eat!"

Axel slowly picked up a piece of bacon to his mouth, taking a bite. _Where the hell __AM__ I?!_

Roxas stood beside him and stroked his bicep. "Y'know…" He purred quietly, "We haven't made love in a while."

The whole piece of bacon flew down Axel's trachea as if he was a human vacuum. He choked violently, banging his fist into his chest.

"OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?!" Roxas flung his arms in the air.

"I'M CHOKING, YOU IDIOT!" Axel spit out the piece of bacon.

"OH! Oh… uh… sorry." Roxas muttered. Wow, his true love is an idiot.

Axel cleared his throat. "Um… I think I lost my appetite."

"Oh, okay…" Roxas took the plate and ate the non-saliva'd piece of bacon, then picked a bit at the eggs.

"Roxas, what were you talking about anyway? We've never…. Done it."

"What? How could you forget our first time?" Roxas pouted.

"Because there never WAS first time!"

"Wahh!" Roxas cried. "You said that was the best night of your life and you can't even remember?"

"Where's my notebook?" Axel asked him.

Roxas pointed to the dresser, pouting still.

Axel jerked open the drawer, seeing his black notebook with 'VIII' etched in silver on the front. He flipped it open, seeing things he remembers he wrote. At least something was normal. As he flipped onward, he saw different. HE saw 'BEST NIGHT EVER' bolded, then read on; he had written an… ehem, _very_ detailed description of the night he and Roxas had made love. Axel's eyes grew wide and his entire face turned redder than his hair.

"Do you remember now?" Roxas whined.

"Yeeeee…ahh…" Axel said, just to make him happy. He put the notebook back in the drawer.

"Yay!" Roxas exclaimed, putting the plate down. He ran to Axel and jumped on him, kissing him deeply on the lips. Axel's eyes got wide, stumbling back a bit; Roxas' lips felt soft and tender against his own. Axel slowly let himself kiss him back, his hands wandering down over Roxas' boyish frame and to the back of his thighs.

_Oh yeah. I'm totally gay._

Roxas tensed against him, deepening the kiss. He exhaled deeply through his nose as Axel walked to the wall, pressing Roxas against it. His hands traveled up his hips and into his shirt, tracing the curves of his waist. Roxas broke the kiss, feeling himself breathing heavily. Axel slid his fingers beneath the buttons of his shirt, gently touching the skin underneath. Roxas' back arches as a shudder crept up his spine from Axel's gentle touch. He tilted his head back, his eyes closing, his hands playing with the zipper on Axel's Organization XIII cloak.

"Mmmn, Axel…" Roxas moaned his name softly, "Take me…"

Axel's muscles clenched, his breathing increasing from Roxas' seductive tone. He slammed Roxas onto the mattress, his hands fumbling together to unzip his cloak. He planted heavy kisses down Roxas' neck, hearing another quiet moan escape the blonde's throat. Their harsh breathing was in unison as Axel finally peeled his cloak off and over his shoulders. Roxas squeaked, his fingers shakily outlining Axel's muscles as he struggled to unzip his pants, the outrageous buldge getting in the way. Axel finally got his pants under control, creeping his fingers in Roxas' shorts-

"AXEL, WAKE THE HELL UP!"

Axel moaned softly, gripping his pillow tightly. He was straddling on top of it.

Roxas ripped the blankets off, giving him an awkward stare. "Are you _humping _your pillow?"

"Ngh… Roxas… oh… yeeeeahh…" Axel groaned, biting the pillow. Roxas backhanded him.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Roxas screamed, deep red from embarrassment. Axel jerked awake and scrambled out of bed, being only in his boxers.

"Nice morning wood," Roxas commented, his arms crossed. Axel glanced down in horror at the raging erection in his undergarnment, then ran into the nearest bathroom in shame.

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Author's Note: xD Poor Axel and his shame. Oh well, he'll get over it. Haha, I completely LOVE making innocent video characters so dirty.

Axel: …That was the worst morning of my life.

Roxas: Wasn't mine. :D

Axel: -///- yeah yeah.

Me: aww, cute couple. o.o Review if you wish!


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